baldylox:

And I sure as hell am disgusted but I don’t know to what extent. I’m tempted to say that humanity as a whole disgusts me, but it’s more like several clusters of people that just happen to make up a large amount of the world around me.

The reason I say this is because I have some of the unfortunate luck of knowing too many young women who have been sexually assaulted and raped. One is too many and I know about a dozen or so women my age, all smart, intelligent, pretty, and really good people. Yet they had the unfortunate luck of encountering a sick male who wanted to take advantage of someone, often violently.

I went up to Cincinnati on Sunday because a friend of mine was giving a deposition for her rape trial and I wanted to be there to be supportive because I knew all of the details. Boy am I glad I was there because originally it was supposed to just be her, her lawyer, the defendant’s lawyer, and the A/V guy. Well, her attacker showed up with his dad, also a defense attorney, and they sat in the room. Apparently they made faces and snickered at my friend for the whole time, the immature assholes they are.

Meanwhile I waited in the room next door with her worried and agitated mother, but I think I did more good for her by talking with her and distracting her from all of the proceedings next door. Once it was over, my friend seemed ok (all things considered) and her mother was relieved but still agitated. Food really is a great comfort and we got my friend’s comfort food for lunch and just went back to things being somewhat normal.

I get pissed at the males who are completely reckless and take no sort of accountability for their actions. They are the dudes who ruin a perfectly average life and put fear, mistrust (or lack of trust), paranoia, doubt, and self-guilt in young women who really have no idea why it happened to them. And that’s if they’re lucky to still be alive, whether or not their attacker hurt them enough to want them to take their own life. Fuck that noise.

And what’s worse is the system that doesn’t necessarily help out the victims in a timely fashion. Law and Order:SVU romanticizes the legal system and makes it seem like its a better and more efficient system than it really is. It’s a shame that the actual legal system isn’t half as effective as what Stabler and Benson try to portray. I think there are more people who are making a difference in the legal system, but it has to start with us as individuals.

We must demand more from each other with our relationships, interactions, and the company we keep, specifically the males who are scumbags. There’s no problem with having your needs and your negotiables in any type of relationship. If we hold each other to a better standard, we can start to make a change. I’m not saying that’s the quick fix, but dammit it’s a start from a personal level. 

I will say that I think any woman who comes forth to file a report is brave and shouldn’t have to relive all of her trauma, but I hope it somehow helps get scumbags off the street and prevent future attacks. Be supportive and open-minded if you know of someone who has suffered an attack, they’ll appreciate it more than you know.

Preach.